Homeless guy on train

I'm on a train back to Ny-  I just got into a fight with a friend and I'm feeling down and self  pitiful which is never a good state to be in.

This black guy who smells like booze limps over and sits by me, we start talking and he tells me a bit of his story- I realize that we aren't very different, we're both people in hard times, and truth be told his seem rougher- though I don't know him at all the little I heard his may be more severe than mine- 

Anyway he ends up chastising me and yelling at me- he makes sense in some of what he says and this makes me think more - about my life and living. 

He said that I must have a big brain and am capable of much but am an idiot now. Maybe he is right-  

I'm having such a time making a decision and sticking with it- 

Then there's this guy giving a handful of change to the conductor to get to NY and its not even enough- but the conductor seems to be nice and allows it. Now I have a $20 in my wallet, I could give it to this guy, and I'm judging him thinking he'll go and spend it on alcohol and I think I don't wanna give it to him- but who am I too judge- who am I?  I'm feeling convicted and maybe, maybe I will give him the money and say have a good night. 

I'm sure he hates being judged and looked down on all the time, and why can't I just love him like my God loves me- how can I? I can hug him and tell him that I love him~  I can... 

When it comes down to it I'm a person just like him, just like you, I'm someone who can love and hate and give and receive. I acknowledge this God I call Jesus and the God is Love and says the greatest things are love. No more pity party tonight, time to share some love 

Mustache

Why do some women keep a mustache?  It leaves me wondering how they don't notice the extreme peach fuzz darkening the pallor of their upper lips?  It's quite unattractive and rather annoying...  Pluck or tweeze, shave or wax.  If ye have the coin for it, laser it away- though for God sakes don't have a hair on your lip. 

I'm tired today and feel like a nice early sleep which shan't happen this eve'

EMT refresher day

I'm in the 2nd full day if EMT refresher at Springfield first aid squad and I like it here. It's a very chill vibe and nice place and I do love learning information about emergency medical care. I intend on getting my license back and working emergency maybe NYFD in the city-  I don't want to get back into transport- I want to save people's lives or at least help them so I feel as though I have purpose - 

Life feels more full when I'm living it for others~  

Pea stench

I'm on a bus right now to Springfield Nj to do an Emt refresher course- the last that sat next to me on the bus smells like peas - I want to vomit on her- I hate that smell, she's equivalent to throw up during a French kiss - ewww

Bathroom thought

I'm sitting in a bathroom now at Barnes & Noble- looking at people and talking to them makes me happy - just spoke with this autistic/retarded fellow who made a quite silly loud noise in the sink while washing his face and drinking water- he responded to my question of what are you doing with "I'm drinking water. I think I should drink water every day" I said- absolutely you should - you should drink at lease 2 liters for your body weight and size everyday- he asked why and I shared with him it flushes out our system and moves all our fluids around to make our bodies healthier - he thanked me- made some funny noises again then left. He came in a few minutes later, let me know he drank 8 cups of water, then stood in front of the urinal pulled his pants and underwear down and peed a fierce pee- lol

I said good job buddy- 

Today on the hunt

I finished Bartending school Friday and now I have to go get a job doing it. My plan was to wake up and walk around the east village all day, thus far that has not happened. Instead I've been working I making my résumé into a Bartender resume which is rather hard and watched the last episode of Game of Thrones. I feel rather like shit today and feel and emptiness in my heart. I need to pray and listen to Jesus