I feel a little upset today

2 days ago I met this girl, Suprise suprise. not like that's something new for me, but this one was very different from the rest, She was a nerd, and sexy, cool, fun nerd. Just 2 days ago. I passed her a note in a coffee shop in Chauanga and she wrote me. We went out 2 nights ago. It was amazing, We talked, connected, went to an 8 year olds party, danced, ate sushi, walked around the streets, I completely enjoyed her. We were supposed to go to the beach today; However whether It's a story I'm making up in my head or reality, I don't think she's coming. Her one message to me on Facebook yesterday was that she had a meeting with a top Exec. of amazing race and she's off to Indian to do something in social media. I mean, WOW~ ! that's amazing for her, and in that sense I'm totally happy and in awe and support of her, to chase adventure and Go where God opens doors is what needs to be done.

I just wish I were going to, wish I had an adventure buddy finally, a wife, a lover, someone to pursue the world with and achieve our goals together. So, be it a story I'm making up or the way it will be, I have a foreboding feeling that I will not get to see her today, that makes me sad. I prayed for this girl the night before I saw her, and without knowing who she was, what she did, or anything about her. Was compelled to give her a note to make her smile, and to give fate a chance at finding that Love I so hurtingly want.

I want to be happy, I am not happy in my life, changing that, no Transforming that needs to be something I do, something I take responsibility for, - Her favorite author is Paulo Coehlo, he wrote the Alchemist, she loves things I do, and perhaps I began thinking about her too much and God is taking her away, the way he does when things become idols, I don't know. I was thinking of the song "blessed be your name" and the Lord gives and takes away, this could be another of those.

Am I weird for feeling this way? maybe, but that's ok cause it's true, authentic.

I'm going to go shower now. then go to the beach with my church, then maybe go out dancing tonight, not sure yet. I just wish I had a partner.... Maybe some day I will